It’s rare. But it does happen.

They say you’ve arrived in voice-over when you’ve finally received the Game Show scam or another overpayment scam* email.

Well, the same is true for nasty, even mean replies from prospects. If you’re a voice actor long enough, and you’re reaching out to enough people daily, no matter how diligent you are about targeting the right people, occasionally, rarely (one in hundreds or thousands), you will get a nasty, mean, or otherwise rude response.

First, let’s understand the factors into why a prospect would respond negatively:

Reason #1: Your targeting was not precise on this prospect.

Either they’re not properly targeted according to their role, or their company doesn’t likely work with voice actors. Somehow, you were off target. Whether it was apparent, and you should have known better, or whether there was truly no way to know until you asked, this is a valid reason for a “No, thank you.”

But there’s a big difference between a polite, professional “No, thank you” and someone who bites back with rudeness and venom and may even overstate your mother’s social popularity, question the status of your parents’ matrimony at the time of your birth, or recommend a particular orifice in which to deposit your original outreach.

Reason #2 It’s not you. It’s them.

The jump from a polite “No, thank you” to a nasty, mean reply has everything to do with the prospect and nothing to do with you (assuming there was nothing unprofessional in your initial communication). You did nothing wrong or unreasonable. Certainly, nothing to evoke rudeness.

Many people have had bad experiences with lazy, pushy, ill-prepared salespeople. There’s a guardedness many people have about being sold to. But if your communication is direct, polite, succinct, and client-focused, you are well within the bounds of reasonability.

Some even have a strong resentment that you DARE reach out to sell anything at any time to anyone. These people have never been entrepreneurs or salespeople. Most work for companies whose salespeople do the actual “dirty” work and bring in the revenue that pays the check of the person giving you a Tobasco enema right now.

There’s an old saying that “Nothing happens in business until somebody sells something.”

You must understand that you have a valuable service that you provide that solves a real problem for people who cannot solve that problem themselves. Offering that service professionally to others provides value to them, allows them to serve their customers better, and cascades value down the chain.

If someone is rude to you for trying to start a conversation around their needs, they’re out of line. Period.

Some people are just assholes. So be it.

Reason #3: They’ve had a bad day.

Friction, stress, or anxiety from something else entirely has already infected this person’s otherwise positive spirit and you just happen to pop in their inbox on the wrong day, hour, or minute and they take it out on you.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

~ Author Wendy Mass

We don’t know what battles the other person is fighting on the day we innocently get caught in their crossfire. Maybe they’ve just been treated rudely by a co-worker or boss. Maybe they have a serious relationship issue, or their child is sick or in danger. We just don’t know. Take a breath. Be grateful it’s not you shouldering their burdens.

How To Respond To Nasty Prospects

Rule #1: Never Return the Favor.

Because of Reason #3 above, we can never tell if the driver is a bad day or they’re just a dick. We HAVE TO give them the benefit of the doubt. We can never fire back. Ever. That just pours gasoline on the fire.

Remember Reason #2. It doesn’t excuse what they did or their language. It doesn’t mean you condone it or forgive it. It simply means you’re giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Rule #2: Respond BEFORE Someone Is Nasty.

Huh? How can I do that? What am I, Nostradamus?

Yes, you can write your response to their reply ahead of time, before anyone ever replies with a firebomb. You know why you reached out, you know you were off target, and you know they’re upset.

Having a standard reply to nasty or mean responses at the ready ensures you’ll reply neutrally, professionally, and with kindness, regardless of the rudeness directed at you.

Maybe something like…

“I’m sorry to be off the mark and thanks for letting me know. I won’t reach out anymore. If there's someone more appropriate externally with whom you can share my info, I'd be deeply grateful. I hope you, your family, and your team are faring well. Have a lovely day.”

Pre-decide to be kind. It’s much easier to make that decision before you receive a flaming turd bag on your porch than when it happens.

Take a few minutes, or even a couple of days if you must. Cool off. Meditate. Go for a walk. Kick the crap out of a heavy bag. Practice yoga. Work out. Get it out of your system in whatever healthy and positive way works for you.

Don’t do it for them. Do it for you. Their venom is not worth your mental health.

Then come back, sit down, and calmly send your pre-written reply. Move on and don’t give them any more space in your head.

Be proud that you handled it with kindness, especially if it wasn’t easy.

That’s growth.

*For info on overpayment scam emails, here’s a great resource by Dave Courvoisier and Doug Turkel: https://courvo.com/wp-content/uploads/How-to-Recognize-a-VO-Scam.pdf