Let’s face it, the vast majority of the marketing you do to grow your business is online. We live in an age where it’s completely normal, nay natural, to start and grow relationships digitally through social media, LinkedIn, and so on.

That’s exactly why networking, yes, live and in real life, is especially relevant in today’s digital age. 25 years ago, live networking was the only way to grow your network, now it is simply one method, but it’s still the most effective way to grow your network and your business, and ultimately to enrich your life buy making new friends.

There is no better way to start and grow real, human relationships than in-person networking. There is no better way to leave a lasting impression and that’s true for both positive and negative impressions, so let’s get into my Top 9 Networking No-Fail Nuggets for Non-Assertive Narrators and Voice Actors.

And of course, stick around ‘til the end when I give you my best VO Pro Tip

9. Introvert? Bring an extroverted friend.

Networking is especially challenging for introverts. It’s hard work to break out of that comfort zone and introduce yourself to people, to chat with them. While extroverts and some ambiverts get charged up by groups of people, introverts are drained by that energy.

Worse still, lots of folks are gripped by fear and anxiety in groups and can really freak out and that’s a real thing and I totally get that. If you have a deep fear of groups or deep social anxiety, I’m not suggesting it’s something you can just ignore or get over.

But if you feel like you can handle it, one hack that works well for introverts is to bring an extroverted friend to networking events. Kind of a designated ice breaker. Someone who you’re comfortable with that can introduce themselves, get the conversation going, and then smoothly introduce and include you in the chat.

8. Introduce yourself to one new person.

Don’t overwhelm yourself. Start small. If you’re going to a networking event for an hour or two, make it a goal to introduce yourself to one person you have not yet met. Just one. Keeping the goal small can help reduce overwhelm.

Sometimes you may find yourself in a room where you know most of the people and it make be more difficult for you to find someone new to talk with. Sometimes there may be a very structured format to the even and you may not have a lot of time.

The 1-new-person strategy keeps things simple and doable.

7. Remember everyone is equal.

This to me is a key mindset in networking and I got this from my dear friend, Jen Greenfield. Everyone is equal means no one, NO ONE is above you or below you. It doesn’t matter how much money they make, how much experience they have (or not), how much business you think they could bring you (or not), or how big (or small) their ego. We are all just people.

The idea is to treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect, period. You are not here to prop up anyone’s ego, you are not here to try to get business out of anyone, you are not here to be looked down on or up to. You are here to make real connections with real people. Treat the janitorial staff with same kindness and respect as the Casting Directors.

So many times voice actors put casting directors, coaches, or other voice actors on a pedestal, and it’s just ridiculous. People may have more or less experience or notoriety, bigger or smaller careers, but we’re all on a journey and we’re all here to serve one another.

When you put someone, anyone, on a pedestal, you surrender your personal power to them and diminish your own worth. That’s true in business and in personal relationships.

It’s ok to deeply admire someone’s work. It’s ok to have a lot of respect for what someone has accomplished or created. It doesn’t make them a better person than you. It just makes them better at that thing.

6. Focus on them, not the room.

When you’re engaged with someone at a networking event and having a conversation with them, focus as deeply as you can on them. Actively listen – not to respond, but to observe and understand.

Great actors observe and listen to people at a very high level. Develop that skill. Use it to your advantage and see and hear what makes that one person unique. You might be able to use it in a performance one day.

There is nothing worse than talking with someone and their eyes are darting all over the room looking for someone else to talk to. They may as well check their watch and yawn.

Don’t be that person. Make whomever you’re talking with feel like the most important person in the room, because during that conversation, they absolutely are.

5. Be interested in THEM, not what you can get from them.

This is where I think a lot of people get really sideways with networking. A networking event is not a fertile, target-rich environment for you to plunder leads from. It is a simply a place to meet new people, deepen relationships by chatting with people you already know, and collect new friends. Period.

These people didn’t show up for you to ask them self-serving questions, ramble on and on about what you do, and shove business card into their hand.

I was once at a series of networking events and there was a sales guy who would come, introduce himself, say what he did and “if you ever have any needs” for what he sold, then call him at the number on his card which he shoved into your face. The off to the next person, and so on and so on.

We almost kicked this guy out of the group. My guess is that’s what he had been told to do by some god-awful sales manager. After a few weeks, someone took him aside and told him that’s now how it’s done, and he thankfully got the message, chilled out, learned to focus on the people in the room and not his agenda, and became a valued member of the group.

How do you focus intently on someone? Ask them about themselves. It’s most people’s favorite topic.

• Where are you from?

• Oh, so are you a fan of (sports team or museum or attraction)?

• What do you do for fun?

• What are you into? Any hobbies?

• Do you have kids?

• What do you like to read?

Soon you’ll get into a routine and these questions will become second nature.

4. Don’t ask to answer.

We’ve all seen this guy at parties. The first question out of his mouth is, “So what do you do?” and you can tell he just can’t wait ‘til you finish to tell you what he does. It’s ok, even preferred to offer that information only if they ask.

For example, you ask what someone does for a living and they say, I’m a Casting Director for voice over.” Don’t do what every other chucklehead voice actor will do and go,” OMG! That’s amazing! I’m a voice actor! Let me tell you all about me!”

Breathe, relax, and stay focused on the person, not the title. “That’s great! It sounds like that would be fun work. Do you enjoy it? How long have you been doing that? What do you love most about it? If you couldn’t do that anymore, what would you do?”

This is a person in front of you, not a resumé twist-tied to a bag of money.

You may choose mention the fact that you’re a voice actor causally later in the conversation, WAY after you’ve established a rapport with them.

Now the big exception to this rule is when an event is designed to put people who do business together in a room together. For example, some organizations, especially in audiobooks, often do “speed dating” events where you get 5 minutes with a casting director to chat, maybe read for them, and start a relationship.

Here the expectation is different. The agenda is out in the open and everyone is on-board. Bring your business cards. Be open about who you are and what you do – that’s what they’re there for, BUT, if you’re smart, you’ll keep 2/3 of the conversation about them and their needs, pain points, and what makes a great partner for them.

Speaking of business cards…

3. Carry business cards, but don’t offer them unless someone asks.

When a conversation wraps, tell that person how much you enjoyed chatting and suggest that you keep in touch. At that point they may ask for your card, offer to trade contact by tapping your phones, or you can jot their name down and reach out later to connect on LinkedIn, follow them on socials, etc. etc.

Offering or forcing your business card or contact info on someone else is overly aggressive. If they ask, then of course oblige.

If they don’t ask or offer, then still jot their name down, reach out on LinkedIn in a few days, and connect with them with a simple note that says how much you enjoyed chatting and offering your help if they ever need it. Include your website address as text in your signature. That way, they can research you if they whether or not they connect.

2. Avoid politics, sex, and religion at all costs.

Yes, put these on the NEVER discuss list. Just don’t. Even if someone asks, just say, you know, I don’t discuss politics, sex, and religion. Those are personal choices and I respect everyone’s rights.”

The last thing you need is to be on the opposite side of a fraught issue. Nothing will start an argument or end a perfectly good chat faster.

By the way, that’s also true for social media.

And #1, My VO Pro Tip – When possible, introduce them to someone else you know.

Connectors win. If you can be someone who puts good people together, you win as much as they do. Take any opportunity to introduce that new person to someone else they may not know. There doesn’t have to be an agenda. It could be anyone. “Dwayne, do you know Asia? Asia is here from Austin….”

People often remember how they were introduced and it’s generally a fond memory. You get credit for that.

Remember that series of networking events I mentioned earlier. I remember the first one I went to. There was a guy named Steve, who did the first thing I mentioned which was to introduce himself to someone he didn’t know – me. When he found out I was new to the group, he introduced me to several people he knew. Even as an extrovert, I was the new guy, and those introductions helped break the ice. I had such a great time and met such nice people I ended up joining the group, and eventually became an officer of that group.

You never know how you might change someone’s life or career with an introduction. Even your own.

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We’ll see ya again here soon. Thanks for reading.